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RIP CARL DUFRENE

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  • #16
    Originally posted by 20/20 View Post

    That is as depressing as his passing.

    makes me think of that John Prine lyric, “there’s a hole in daddy’s arm where all the money goes “.

    Not saying that is the case here, it’s just affecting to me to reflect upon having to ask strangers for money in order to have a funeral.
    Well, not all of us have a 'wife with a match and lighter fluid' funeral plan.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by 20/20 View Post

      That is as depressing as his passing.

      makes me think of that John Prine lyric, “there’s a hole in daddy’s arm where all the money goes “.

      Not saying that is the case here, it’s just affecting to me to reflect upon having to ask strangers for money in order to have a funeral.
      Helping my wife negotiate the passing of one parent this year and trying to manage her other parent's full-time care in a memory care facility has left me equal parts exhausted and sad at the circumstances. What has given me a lot of lift and resolve through it all is how prepared her folks were to deal with the end, or for their daughter to handle it in their stead. They chose cremation services (Trident Society), yep - there in their boxes in the garage were the the lovely hardwood memorium boxes, all of the care & handling pre-arranged. As morbid as it might seem to us "youngsters", it might be the nicest couple-grand you can spend, just to make a crappy time in your survivors' lives a little bit easier. If you're from a casket/burial culture, it's gonna be a burden no matter how much cash you have laying about.

      And this just the worst - I hope Carl's family knows how much joy he shared with us.

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      • #18
        duende, perfect stuff. Great story and thanks for sharing. It illustrates exactly what I was trying to express and imply. Kudos.

        Time for a thread drift. We've been serious long enough.

        Gram Parson's one of my favorites of all times because of his participation in some bands that are dear to me had the good fortune to have some friends that dealt with a similar situation in a unique and positive (??) way. Akin to what Marignygregg referred to. This is a cut and paste narrative below. It may not be perfect but you kids can get the point.


        Late in the evening of September 20, 1973, two drunken men wearing rhinestone jackets and cowboy hats drove a hearse into Los Angeles Airport and stole the corpse of country-rock pioneer Gram Parsons. In the hours that followed, one of the most bizarre adventures in music history unfolded.

        Parsons had found success as the man who steered The Byrds into country rock in 1968. He then took the new genre further with the Flying Burrito Brothers and, through his friendship with Keith Richards, significantly influenced the Stones’ classic 1972 album Exile On Main St. Hugely gifted as a songwriter and singer, he was also a tortured soul whose relationship with his wealthy family caused him no end of grief.

        By 1973, heroin addiction and a serious alcohol problem had reduced him to a low ebb, his marriage was in tatters, and death seemed to be frequently on his mind. In one of his last interviews he declared: “Death is a warm cloak, an old friend.” Within weeks he was dead. But that was just the start of the story.

        Phil Kaufman (Parsons’s road manager): Just a couple of months before he died, Gram and I went to the funeral of The Byrds guitarist Clarence White. We’d had a few sherbets before we went, and we were saying that if Clarence had his choice he wouldn’t have chosen that kind of high-mass Catholic funeral with all that mumbo jumbo. So Gram said, you know: “This is bullshit. If I die I want somebody to have a few beers, take me out to the desert and burn my body.” I said: “All right, it’s a deal. But would you do the same for me?” He said: “Yeah.”

        Several months later, when we had finished his new album, Grievous Angel, he went out to the Joshua Tree desert to celebrate and kick back while I was in LA putting his next tour together. Gram often used to go to Joshua Tree. He just loved that area. He’d spent some time there with the Stones, and we’d also done some filming there. So he booked a couple of rooms in the Joshua Tree Inn with [Parsons associate] Michael Martin and his girlfriend Dale McElroy. She was a well-travelled woman who, at that time, had unlimited funds because she had inherited Caterpillar stock, which gave her a good, guaranteed income.

        Phil Kaufman: When Dale called and told me Gram was dead I said: “No, no.” But Dale said: “Gram is dead and they’re taking his body away.” I said: “Okay, I’ll be right there.” It’s about a three-hour drive to get up there from LA. Kaphy Miles, my girlfriend at the time, had a VW bus.

        We got to the motel early in the morning and I cleaned the room out. Then, at the hospital, I was told the police wanted to interview the girls again. So I told them who I was and said I would bring the girls in. I got everybody into the car and took them back to LA, out of the local police jurisdiction, so the girls wouldn’t have to be interviewed.

        I stayed home at my house on Chandler in LA for a couple of days, but I knew what I had to do. I had to fulfil my promise to Gram. I called the mortuary in Joshua Tree to find out where Gram’s body was. They told me he was en route to Continental Airlines at LAX, from where he would be shipped back to his step-father in New Orleans. As it happened, Dale owned a big Cadillac hearse, so I told her I wanted it, and I needed Michael to help me.

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        So Michael and I set off in the hearse wearing our Sin City jackets and cowboy hats. Our whole team was me and Michael, assisted by Jose, Jack, Jim and Mickey, [Jose Cuervo tequila, Jack Daniel’s whiskey, Jim Beam bourbon and Mickey Bigmouth beer]. We were pretty well-oiled. They had a holding area in a hangar at the airport where they take the caskets for onward shipment, and we got there about 10 o’clock on the Thursday night

        Bill Hill (coroner): Before the casket could be loaded aboard the plane, two individuals in a funeral coach arrived and told the attendant that the family had decided to ship from Van Nuys airport.

        Phil Kaufman: At first he was suspicious. He was looking at the way we were dressed, so I said we were doing overtime, and I basically hustled him into hurrying up. As I’m signing the papers, using the name Jeremy Nobody, a police car pulls up and blocks our exit. The cop gets out and he’s just standing around, so I yelled at him: “Hey, give us a hand with this stiff, will ya?” And he goes: “Uh, okay.” And the cop helped us load the body into the hearse. Michael got behind the wheel and as we drove out he hit the hangar door. There was enough space for a plane to taxi through and he hit the door. The cop looked at us and I’m thinking, “Boy, we’re in trouble now.” But he moved his car and off we went.

        We stopped at a gas station and bought five gallons of gasoline. Then off we went in our drunken stupor, with Gram in the back, and drove out beyond the Joshua Tree Inn – by now it’s like 1am – up into the National Park until we reached Cap Rock, which was about as far as we could go in our state. We opened up the back of the hearse, but the casket dropped as Michael was pulling it out. Michael was really edgy, but I decided we had to say goodbye to Gram so I opened up the casket. And the hinges obviously hadn’t been oiled, so it creaked really loud. Then there he was, laying naked, with surgical tape covering where they had done the autopsy. We used to do this thing, you know, when you’re a kid, where you point to someone’s chest, they look down and you go ‘zip’ up to their nose? Well, that was the last thing I did to Gram. Michael was going: “Don’t touch him, man.” But, you know, he was dead, right?

        So then I poured the gasoline all over him and said: “All right, Gram, on your way…” I struck the match and threw it onto the gasoline. And when you do that, it consumes an enormous amount of oxygen and makes a big ‘Whooomph!’ As we were watching, the body actually bubbled, and then we saw his ashes flying up into the night. Then we saw some headlights approaching from across the desert. We thought it might be the park rangers so we beat it out of there.


        Eventually, when we went to court, all they could charge us with was stealing the casket. The body itself had no intrinsic value, so unless someone filed a complaint there was no law broken. They fined us $1,300 – Gram’s step-father had bought the cheapest casket he could get – and Dale paid the fine.

        What happened next?

        Gram Parsons’s remains were shipped by his step-father to New Orleans for burial at The Garden Of Memories. In Kaufman’s words: “Dying was a great career move for Gram.” He is now acknowledged as one of the most influential country-rock performers of all time. Room 8 at the Joshua Tree Inn is now a ‘shrine’ dedicated to Parsons’s memory, but it remains available for rent.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by 20/20 View Post

          Eventually, when we went to court, all they could charge us with was stealing the casket. The body itself had no intrinsic value, so unless someone filed a complaint there was no law broken. They fined us $1,300 – Gram’s step-father had bought the cheapest casket he could get – and Dale paid the fine.

          What happened next?

          Gram Parsons’s remains were shipped by his step-father to New Orleans for burial at The Garden Of Memories. In Kaufman’s words: “Dying was a great career move for Gram.” He is now acknowledged as one of the most influential country-rock performers of all time. Room 8 at the Joshua Tree Inn is now a ‘shrine’ dedicated to Parsons’s memory, but it remains available for rent.
          At the risk of even further thread drift, I first heard of Phil Kaufman as the owner of Bezerkley Records which released the first Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers Records. And as it turns out Jonathan--in so many ways the ultimate music business outsider but who was a lot more connected than first suspected--and the Modern Lovers played a party to raise funds to pay Phil's fine: https://jojofiles.blogspot.com/2016/...m-parsons.html

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          • #20
            Originally posted by danlachman View Post
            For his Friday night (8/21) Living Room stream, Anders will be performing Spacedust and Ocean Views in its entirety. It was the last record that Carl and Anders worked on together. 6:30 Central, 4:30 Pacific.
            This was easily the best stream that Anders has done during this pandemic. Great playing from Anders, Tiffany Lamson and Shane Theriot and stories about The Bayou Buddah. Really worth watching.

            https://www.facebook.com/AndersOsbor...8616450905198/

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            • #21
              Originally posted by jjazznj View Post

              This was easily the best stream that Anders has done during this pandemic. Great playing from Anders, Tiffany Lamson and Shane Theriot and stories about The Bayou Buddah. Really worth watching.

              https://www.facebook.com/AndersOsbor...8616450905198/
              This was the first one of his I’ve watched since April. I was glad I did. Great vibe and sound.

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              • #22
                First time we saw Anders, it was a double-bill with Tab at Virginia's State Theater, if I recall correctly. They were alternating nights as opener/closer, and Anders opened. Blown away by the maniac bass player (and Anders, I suppose -lol), on our drive home we googled where they were playing the following night, bought tickets and went to that as well.

                After the 1st (I think it was the 1st?) Dead Feat at The Temple, my wife and I were hanging/unwinding outside after the show before walking home around 4:00 am, and Carl walks out. We strike up a conversation, spend maybe 20 minutes talking and drinking with him. The following night, VOW was playing Rock 'n' Bowl, my wife and I are standing in RnB waiting for the show to start with a group of maybe 8 friends, all pretty big Anders fans. Carl walks in, comes right up behind me, slaps me on the shoulder and says, "Hey man, what's going on? Let's go get a beer at the bar." He and I walk off to the bar together. My wife said there was stunned silence for about 10 seconds, everyone looking at each other, until someone said, "What the fuck was that? How does he know Carl Dufrene?" -lol

                RIP, Carl Dufrene, da Bayou Buddha
                (thread drift on an RIP thread, pretty shitty)

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by carlindj View Post
                  First time we saw Anders, it was a double-bill with Tab at Virginia's State Theater, if I recall correctly. They were alternating nights as opener/closer, and Anders opened. Blown away by the maniac bass player (and Anders, I suppose -lol), on our drive home we googled where they were playing the following night, bought tickets and went to that as well.

                  After the 1st (I think it was the 1st?) Dead Feat at The Temple, my wife and I were hanging/unwinding outside after the show before walking home around 4:00 am, and Carl walks out. We strike up a conversation, spend maybe 20 minutes talking and drinking with him. The following night, VOW was playing Rock 'n' Bowl, my wife and I are standing in RnB waiting for the show to start with a group of maybe 8 friends, all pretty big Anders fans. Carl walks in, comes right up behind me, slaps me on the shoulder and says, "Hey man, what's going on? Let's go get a beer at the bar." He and I walk off to the bar together. My wife said there was stunned silence for about 10 seconds, everyone looking at each other, until someone said, "What the fuck was that? How does he know Carl Dufrene?" -lol

                  RIP, Carl Dufrene, da Bayou Buddha
                  (thread drift on an RIP thread, pretty shitty)

                  Beautiful, I shot the shit with Carl outside the Paradise one year in Boston. I was always hoping that power trio did another tour.........RIP Bayou Buddha

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by carlindj View Post
                    First time we saw Anders, it was a double-bill with Tab at Virginia's State Theater, if I recall correctly. They were alternating nights as opener/closer, and Anders opened. Blown away by the maniac bass player (and Anders, I suppose -lol), on our drive home we googled where they were playing the following night, bought tickets and went to that as well.

                    After the 1st (I think it was the 1st?) Dead Feat at The Temple, my wife and I were hanging/unwinding outside after the show before walking home around 4:00 am, and Carl walks out. We strike up a conversation, spend maybe 20 minutes talking and drinking with him. The following night, VOW was playing Rock 'n' Bowl, my wife and I are standing in RnB waiting for the show to start with a group of maybe 8 friends, all pretty big Anders fans. Carl walks in, comes right up behind me, slaps me on the shoulder and says, "Hey man, what's going on? Let's go get a beer at the bar." He and I walk off to the bar together. My wife said there was stunned silence for about 10 seconds, everyone looking at each other, until someone said, "What the fuck was that? How does he know Carl Dufrene?" -lol

                    RIP, Carl Dufrene, da Bayou Buddha
                    (thread drift on an RIP thread, pretty shitty)
                    Cool story !! Sorry for Thread drift, but you know...it's just the same 6 people talking back and forth to eachother.

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